THE DUTIES OF BROTHERHOOD

Editor's note: The following is a revised and edited edition of an essay from the Islamic Newsgram originally published Rabi-Uthani 1405/1985 and again in Jumadl-Ula 1416/1995. It is based on Imam Ghazali's master-work Ihya-Ilum-id-Deen (Revival of the Religious Sciences—section on brotherhood) translated by Mukhtar Holland. 

Praise be to Allah, besides whom there is no god, Lord of all creation. Who created in his infinite wisdom and mercy the ties of kinship and brotherhood and ordered that they be maintained. May countless blessings and Mercy be showered on our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), who gave advice, directions, and warnings on how to fulfill our Lord's commands in all affairs. May Allah bless and forgive His Companions (rah) and the people of His house (pbuh).

           

Know that the ties of brotherhood are like a contract and as in all contracts there arise specific duties and obligations on the contracted parties, the ties of brotherhood also entail certain duties and obligations. You must know that by the words of our Prophet, "A man's belief is incomplete so long as he doesn't wish for his brother what he wishes for himself," (Muslim) and that this is the lowest degree of brotherhood; anything less is transgression.  Allah  (shwta) says, "WOE TO THE GIVERS OF SHORT MEASURE, WHO EXACT IN FULL WHEN OTHERS MEASURE OUT TO THEM, BUT SKIMP WHEN MEASURING OUT TO OTHERS."  Imam Ghazali says, "All who demand fair treatment beyond what they themselves dispense come under the import of this ayat."

You should attend to you brother's needs as you would attend to your own. You should be aware of his needs, thereby preventing him from asking and consider it a blessing that he accepts your effort on his behalf, and your paying attention to his affairs. You should keep him from harming himself and others by admonishment, but it must be remembered that admonishment is sometimes like medicine and must be given in various doses according to the illness and its intensity; which requires that you know something of the disease or affliction (character flaw, bad habit, etc.), the person's mental, emotional or spiritual condition, and the remedy (what is commanded or recommended by the Divine Law) in this matter.

You are also ordered to be silent about things which would disturb his heart or cause ill feelings, such as undue criticism of him or his family, or revealing his faults whether to him or to others. To refrain from backbiting, lying, prying into his affairs, and to put the best construction on his acts in general, as the concealing of faults is a sign of the religious people.  Imam Shafi (rmtll) has said, "There is not one Muslim who obeys Allah without ever transgressing against Him, nor is there one who transgresses against Him without ever obeying Him. If a man's obedience outweighs his transgressions, he is righteous."

You should avoid argumentation, contention and unnecessary disputing for these cause malice and rancor, which are the seeds of dissension. When you argue with your brother, you accuse him of ignorance, stupidity, and forgetfulness, which constitutes disgrace and alienation.

You should show and express sincere concern for a calamity that may befall him or his family, and be happy when something good happens to him. You must protect his honor when he is absent from the criticism or abuse of others and address the fault-finder harshly. Not because of the relationship with your friend, but because Allah (shwta) has commanded Justice and prohibited injustice. Besides this, if the fault finder is a Muslim, he is your brother too, necessitating that you be equal in your treatment of both.   

Faults, mistakes, and the failings of a friend are basically of two types: 1) either in his religion by committing sins; or 2) in his duty to you. There are two opinions accepted by the Sahaba and Tabi'een (Salaf-Saliheen) on the action taken by you in this matter. Abu Zarr (rah) said, "If your brother turns his back on his duties (to Allah, or to you) you should hate him as you used to love him". He considered this course dictated by love for Allah's sake and hate for Allah's sake, and as a means of deterring him from such action, while embodying what Allah has commanded without compromise, which is a form of protection for both parties. Abu Dar'da (rah) said, "If your brother alters or changes his hue, do not desert him for sometimes he will be crooked and sometimes straight." This is the better of the two views provided it does not increase you or him in transgression and he eventually gives up his erroneous ways.    

You should pray for him in life and death, his family and dependents and attend to their needs after his death. There are certain things to be avoided when seeking one's companionship.

The Fasiq, or one who persists in committing major sins. He should be avoided because of his not fearing Allah (shwta) his attitude will change toward you with the change of his luck or condition.  Beware of the association of the Fasiq, for the constant sight of sin and transgression will remove the dislike of it from your mind, and make you feel that sins, (particularly major sins) is something to be taken lightly. Just as if the people were to see a scholar wearing gold or silk, they would strongly oppose this as it is something rarely seen.  Whereas they do not oppose backbiting even though it is a more serious sin, because it is always seen.  Always remember that it is part of man's nature to "steal" (by imitation) the qualities of others in such a way that neither is aware of it. Thus, association with a greedy man will increase your greed, while association with a pious man will help increase your piety. Rasulullah (pbuh) has alluded to this reality of social interaction by saying "A man follows the religion of his companion, so consider well whom you choose as a friend." (Ahmed, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

 Developing control over the heart's diseases, (envy, pride, jealously, etc.) is essential,  for if  left unchecked, besides having the capacity  to adversely affect our relationships with others and brotherhood in particular, they are also an affront to Muslim manliness and show defects in one's Taqwa in these respects:  1) that you are not pleased with Allah's Decree by denying any quality, virtue or characteristic possessed by others that may be superior to your own; and 2) and that you are better qualified to judge what is best for you; while 3) showing that you do not really consider another Muslim your equal by selfishly attaching only the best qualities and attributes to yourself.

We ask that Allah (awj) forgive us for our faults and sins, help us to establish and maintain true brotherhood and unity, and that he guide us ever closer to the right path. Amin.